While romantic relationships often hog the spotlight for biggest heart-breaks, nothing stings more than moving away from your closest friends. And with the onset of coronavirus, most of us are forced to maintain these friendships through a screen.
From birthdays, board games to picnics, long-distance friendships are suddenly inevitable.
It feels like the end of the world, knowing we can’t meet our close friends when we want to. Goodbyes always warrant getting hit by a truck of emotions.
We hate it, but with a lot of commitment and a little effort, it no longer feels overwhelming. These friendships help us be a lot more vulnerable and susceptible to showing our feelings.
“I cried for three hours straight into my pillow after my best friend told me she’s leaving to the US. Even today, if she ever visits, we spend the last few hours just packing her things. Her flights are usually early in the morning, so if I can’t stay until then, I wake up at 4 am to go say goodbye.” says Avaantika Lazar, a media practitioner, whose best friend moved to another country six years ago.
We spoke to a few pairs of long-distance BFFs to curate stories about their experiences. The following are some distinct moments that we’ve all experienced along with a few ways to nurture the friendship despite being away.
Take advantage of Social Media
A few years ago, we didn’t have the means to be an integral part of our friend’s life. People could only communicate once in a while and eagerly await their return.
Lazar says “When she moved away, I wasn’t on social media. We used to write each other emails with detailed accounts of our week. It felt nice knowing that even if we’re not instantly updated, we’ll eventually know everything about each other’s lives.”
Today, social media makes sure we’re connected in real-time. For a lot of people, this means being in constant touch with their best friends throughout the day. Phones are always blowing up with their notifications, and the whims of modern technology help sustain any efforts of trying to stay in touch.
“We’re always sending each other memes on Instagram, pictures of our online shopping orders, we get our social media posts approved or just facetime on bad days and good. It’s not even a deliberate effort because I feel like we live together, even if it’s virtually” says Sushmitha, a writer at a culture portal.
Schedule time with each other
There comes a point when you haven’t checked your phone in days. Juggling office deadlines, your social life and doing laundry can take up more time than you’d realise. But ultimately, when you need them, they’re always there for you. The inherent charm of these relationships is such. They might throw some shade, but come on, you probably deserved that. It’s essential for both of you to make an effort to check on each other from time to time.
“There are days where my messages won’t be opened. Three days later, my best friend will come back and whine about the amount of work she has. I don’t blame her for it, but I love giving her a hard time by being overly dramatic. It’s never affected our friendship.” says Shreya Mohandas.
Make small gestures
The simplest thing that you can do to put a smile on your friend’s face is to send them a surprise package. It could be an actual gift or a small reference to an inside joke but, it’s enough to let them know that you’re thinking of them.
“My best friend’s dad frequently visits the country. She makes it a point to send me something ridiculous each time. I’ve received things like a random fedora (that I’ve never worn unironically) or Christmas themed earrings in May. It always cracks me up” said Lazar.
Plan a trip. Always plan a trip
We’ve all spent hours on a travel websites looking for the perfect holiday destinations. These plans never seem to fit our budget or schedule. Yet, we’re hopeful that we’ll take that trip soon to give our Instagram followers some major squad goals.
Sushmita says “The only time I see her is when I drop by her city for work. We’re planning trips constantly, but they never seem to work out. Our busy schedules don’t leave any room for it, but we’re constantly hoping that it’ll work out soon enough.”
Hear them out, even if they’re being (sort of) unreasonable at times
Yes, we’re aware that being high-school enemies with the “other” friend is behind us. Still, it’s only normal to experience FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) when all their stories are with someone new. This phase doesn’t always last too long. Eventually, you might even get to know this other person and build a friendship that’s based on insulting your friend. Be mutually attentive, it goes a long way.
Long-distance friendship is what comes at the end of a sitcom when you see everyone splitting up. It’s a challenge, sure, but also just the way things work. And when you finally see them after a long gap, it feels like nothing has changed. Mindless chatter fills the air, and all seems right in the world.