Do you know those human magnets who instantly liven up the room they enter? The kind that has the crowd’s eye glued to them? More often than not, they seem to be doing everything you’re not at that moment. What is ‘the-apple-of-everyone’s-eye’ brand doing differently, you ask? The secret mantra isn’t the words here; studies have shown that only 7% of communication lies in what we say. 38% is communicated through our voice tone, and the remaining portion, a whopping 55%, is transmitted through body language.

If only we knew that conversations are best served with fluent body language! When these two go hand in hand, there is a noticeable spike in self-confidence and self-esteem. 

Want to know how to tune these non-verbals to your advantage? We have a quick head to toe checklist for you: 

Eye-contact

Never be the person who looks around while having a conversation. If you discuss a business proposition with your eyeballs glued to the ceiling, you will come off as distracted and insincere.

However, staring into the eye of the listener can scare the life out of them. The sweet spot is maintaining eye contact for 30-40% of the conversation. This conveys that you are invested in the idea, and it also helps build trust between you and the listener. 

We know it isn’t easy to budget your eye contact time, but one gets the hang of it when one start paying attention. Be mindful while talking to closed ones and maybe even take feedback. Practice on the home ground gives you good scores on the public ones.

Avoid Fiddling 

Fidgeting your legs, playing with the finger ring, touching your hair frequently, tapping fingers on the table– all these activities convey that you’re miles away from being in the moment. Your subconscious is cooking up thoughts someplace else.

Being a good listener and conversationalist involves you being rooted in the present. Be sure to check-in with your body parts every time you engage in chitchat. Be mindful if they go astray from what’s expected of them. 

Increased foot movements like shuffling of feet display nervousness and anxiety. If you catch your feet fidgeting, try stretching and curling them. This helps relieve the mounting tension of the moment.

If your hands don’t know where to be, use them as gestures to power up your point. Right hand speaking space is from the top of your chest to the bottom of your waist. All these small tweaks help you come across as composed and confident rather than slack and unbothered.

Master your postures

Research at Harvard and Columbia Business Schools show that merely holding your body in expansive, “high-power” poses (leaning back with hands behind the head and feet up on a desk, or standing with legs and arms stretched wide open) for as little as two minutes stimulates higher levels of testosterone—the hormone linked to power and dominance—and lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. This flips the power dynamic at play by making you feel in charge of the group and the decision.

If you cannot do the high-powering poses, opt for non-slouching ones. Avoid shrinking your shoulders and curving them– this shows under confidence. 

Also, avoid leaning back while engaging in dialogue. Instead, your body should be leaning into the person and slow nodding as well. This non-verbal sign communicates to the listener that you are all ears. 

#thesoltip: Always take up space while in a posture, be expansive, spread out. Refrain from squishing your hands between your thighs or winding your feet around each other. 

Smile with a reason

If your resting face is grumpy, people will be social-distancing you for longer than you’d like. A wise man once said, “A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.”

Whether it be you baring your pearly white or closed-lip smiling, smiles are inviting and attractive. It is like an invisible welcome call to people around you, making you seem approachable. 

However, you don’t want to be smiling too often too much. It might come across as you buttering up the person you’re talking to. It also creates an image of you being too naive and easy to walk over. Smile only with a purpose; it stimulates a sense of well-being.