Have you ever sent a risky text and found yourself sweating while you anxiously await their response? Congratulations, you’re not alone– texting anxiety is a very real thing. Though psychologists are trying to figure out the density of this, we can safely say that most people we know relate to it. 

Forrest Talley, PhD told Southern Living “Texting anxiety is the distress some people experience when waiting for a reply from a text they have sent, or the distress related to a text that has been received that raises unexpected questions/concerns” as quoted in thelist.  

It’s ironic that messaging, which is meant to make our lives easier, can have the opposite effect. Texting is a reality we can’t escape. We’re forced to respond as soon as possible on workgroups and family chats. 

As mentioned in bonobology, Front Psychiatry describes three ways to identifying texting anxiety– 

– A spike in feelings of anxiety when waiting for a response to a text or feel pressured to reply to one right away

– The compelling need to check your phone as soon as you hear a ‘ding’ or see a notification on your device 

– Sending out a burst of text message to different people because you feel overcome with anxiety at the thought of not being connected 

But worry not, here are some ways to keep your texting anxiety in check. 

Reduce Screen Time

We know you have heard this before, but it is one of the most effective ways to cut down on the negative feelings. Reaching for your phone every five minutes is second nature, and it only gets worse if you’re expecting a reply for someone. So be sure to set aside time for texting every day. This can help reduce the burden of anticipation. 

Talk about it

If constant anxiety hinders your ability to text back people on time, it might affect your interpersonal relationships. Set boundaries with your loved ones and let them know how often you prefer texting to avoid any misunderstandings, if that helps. In return, telling your close circle about how you feel regarding delayed responses, etc., can help you manage your expectations better. 

Tweak your phone settings 

From turning off read receipts, muting notifications to downloading screen time apps, use technology to your advantage. Our phones almost have a life of their own, they feed off of our insecurities and push us to consume things we really don’t need. (Have you seen social dilemma, yet?) Setting dedicated time for each app will control the urge to reach for your phone every time there is a notification.

Avoid serious conversations on text

Sending an important message, and not hearing back immediately can welcome unwanted spiral of emotions. Try to have the ‘big-talks’ over the phone or in person. 

Validate your feelings

Understand how you feel. Even a seemingly regular conversation can be tricky on text. If you seem to get affected repeatedly, don’t let it strain your mental health. It’s okay to take a break or reach out for help. 

Call or meet people

Use alternatives like calls or meeting in real-life when possible. Sometimes, we all need a reminder to get away from the virtual world and create time for other interactions. Humane touches like listening to someone’s voice makes all the difference, as opposed to seeing three dots indicating their presence.