All arguments don’t have to be ugly, end in tears and jeopardise relationships, who knew? Shouting, dramatically walking out, throwing vases and slamming doors may look entertaining in the movies but going through that when we are trying to explain our side of things, in real life can be excruciating. 

Many people go to great lengths to avoid arguments. But that’s mostly because we perceive arguments to be negative. But disagreements can be used for good as they inform us better, sharpen our thinking skills, and help challenge your old opinions in necessary ways– if had well. 

Here are some tips on how to handle arguments without making an enemy. 

– Determine the nature of the argument

It would help if you adapted your tone — and even the basis of your argument depending on your opponent and the setting it’s occurring in. The discussion in a private environment may be different from one in a public room. So read the room and adapt accordingly. 

– Don’t concentrate on being right

If you want to translate your point of view correctly and efficiently, you need to pay attention and understand the opponent’s argument and aim to be understood rather than to be right. People often steer away from the primary purpose of the discussion and  attack the opponent instead. 

– Use the right amount of emotions

To argue without showing emotion is almost impossible. Additionally, it is not helpful to say anything without any emotion. It would be best if you appealed to an argument using emotions, but do not base your entire opinion on it, especially in a professional discussion. 

Being kind and sounding balanced is vital. Getting through uncomfortable conversations and expressing your sadness can help get to the root of where the frustration comes from, in turn helping you understand the other person’s perspective in a more empathetic manner. However, this would only be the case if the person you are arguing with can put being understanding over being right.  

Feelings without information or details to back them up to fall flat if the other person can’t relate.

– Do not accuse and blame

It’s easy to find faults in what the other person is trying to say. So take a step back because accusing someone by dwelling on past incidents, etc., only harms the conversation as the other person may get defensive before they have a chance to reason with you. 

– Try to find a solution, if not, it is alright to walk away sometimes

Sometimes the argument seems to be going in circles, or it starts turning ugly. If the discussion does not look like it will have a result, directly ask, ‘Is there anything I can do to change your mind?’ 

Sometimes an argument may result in a draw, and that is entirely okay. Ideally, you have won if you have gained a new perspective on a topic or learned something new. 

Winning an argument without offending people can be difficult. All you have to do is carefully listen, observe the nature of the argument, respectfully express your opinion, and try to focus on what message you want to get across. Remember to use these tips the next time you have an argument, and you’ll know we’re on to something.