The world paused during the pandemic; marriages did not. With our feeds flooded with close-ups of engagement rings and #hitched pictures, we (over)thought about ours. Marriage is a tough nut to crack – should you go for it, if yes, with whom? What’s the right age? Are you career-ready? Only if it came with a trial period and you’d like the liberty of cancelling the subscription because the delivered package was *below expectations*.

This yearly/monthly arrangement that people usually opt for before marriage is a live-in. At the outset, they are pretty much the same -partners living under the same roof, sharing bills, chores and a bed. However, drilling down to the specifics, we realize they both bring something different to the table.

Marriage has its social and legal perks

Parvathy Soman, a musician who recently got engaged to her partner, says – “I am engaged young and get a lot of eye rolls for it. But, I didn’t have the energy to play hide and seek with my parents to be in a live-in. Might as well marry and do the same thing.”

Apart from being socially validated as a married couple, you have umpteen legal benefits, including health insurance, social security, tax benefits, government benefits and more. On the other hand, a live-in doesn’t come with a security blanket as cushioned as this.

Live-ins are not big on responsibilities

Marriage isn’t between two people; it is between two families, they say. You can afford a no-strings-attached relationship with your live-in partner’s family, but as a married couple, you are more accountable. You’re now expected to cultivate bonds – attend family weddings, baby showers, send festival gifts and sadly host relatives at your place for longer than you’d like.

Teg Khanna, an engineer at Amazon, shares, “My live-in girlfriend and I have neighbours who married after dating two years. Their plans are – what EMI plan to choose for the new house, can we be affording a baby next year. And all my partner and I worry about is what’s for dinner and whose turn to mop next.” The #wedded couple usually needs a crystal ball to look into the future. Figuring out finances for a penthouse or having a baby is not what most live-ins look for. These tasks are loaded with commitment; it isn’t for a couple who plans to live duty-free.

Breakups are logistically easier than divorces

If your live-in doesn’t see the light of the day, you pack your suitcase and survive the emotional roller coasters alone. In a marriage, all of the above coupled with lawyers and forms is a full-blown divorce. You suddenly become the black sheep for not getting along with one person. This can scar a person’s emotional makeup for life. Live-ins allow easier walk-outs from the relationship, which is a brownie point if you aren’t sure about your partner. Divorces are tough but should never be off the table because they are taboo.

Live-in is a trailer to the marriage movie

In a live-in, you judge their morning moods, rate their hygiene standards, learn how they like their eggs, understand the equation they share with their parents and friends, what is it that they do in their past-time, how do they like their AC, you familiarize each other with your fart smells and burp sounds, choose your side of the bed – and so much more. It is like an internship to a full-time job. You know what you are signing up for.

However, a live-in followed by marriage isn’t always divorce-proofed. You might still fall apart.

Live-ins are an excellent way to know you both enjoyed annoying the hell out of each other and can marry to continue doing it for the rest of your life.