Pandemic has knocked out all the bar-flirting on weekends, roadside coffee dates after work, the accidental hand-brushes, the closing down on a dress for a date, the shortlisting of restaurants for the perfect ambience. We are now loafing inside four walls, hoping against hope for the ‘right one’ to drop from the heavens and ring the doorbell to our homes. Well, that is not happening anytime soon.. or ever! If you want a new beau, you will have to look for one actively. The only responsible way to launch this hunt is to play the fields of online dating.
Does the idea of finding dates on your phone screens daunt you? Or have you not had any luck swiping right yet? Bouncing back from a breakup and looking for something casual? Flip through the dating manual we have curated for anyone ranging from a noob to a seasoned contestant in the online dating sphere.
Work on the dating app bio :
Your bio is like your dating CV. You will have to get this step right to come across as who you are IRL. Damona Hoffman, a well-known dating coach and the host of Dates & Mates podcast, says three-quarters of the profile should be about you and the other quarter about what you want in your mate. You might come off as overly picky and superficial if you list down body statistics and hair colour preferences in the latter part. Go for the values you value, instead.
The bio does not have to be necessarily witty or sarcastic; the goal is not to please everyone but The One. Steer clear from clichéd Google quotes; they don’t make for good conversation starters. The bio should be a snapshot of your life and hobbies.
Also, clear the air on what kind of relationship you are seeking. You don’t want a ‘together forever’ latching onto you when looking for something casual. If your bio doesn’t give away the type of relationship you want to be in, you could mention it firsthand when the conversation begins. It is wise to not be in the dark or keep anyone else clouded on where this ‘match’ would go.
The display picture is a deal-cracker! It is best to upload one where you are your most authentic self. Don’t let the FaceTune app delude into believing that your jawline can’t exist if it isn’t razor-sharp. According to dating experts, the best profile shots feature the three Cs: colour (vibrant shades work like a charm), context (pictures that involve your hobbies, like reading, gardening), and character(if you want to put forth your funny element, a Halloween picture is a good idea.)
On a traditional date, you would have walked side-by-side, held hands, side hugged, and maybe even kissed if things went far. Virtual dating blocks out all these romantic possibilities. If it is any consolation, they are cheaper, don’t cost you travel time, can be pulled off in loungewear and can be done from anywhere – from Uber to bedrooms.
Video-Call Dating Checklist
1. Stable internet connection :
Before you fire up Zoom or FaceTime to meet your virtual date, ensure that you have a stable internet connection in the least. You don’t want the screen to pause and then disconnect after you have mustered the courage for a cheeky flirt.
2. Sunlight or ring light:
Soft-lighting in front of your face and dim lights in the background is a whole mood. Ring lights are pretty in if you plan to go overboard. A glass of wine and a snack of your choice will be a good simulation of the restaurant setup. Work your angles with the webcam before you hit the meet link.
3. ‘What to wear’ troubles don’t die even on virtual dates. You may have your qualms about wearing a one-shoulder at home, but that shows that you are interested and care about the date. If you show up with messy hair and Cheetos crumbs on your sweatshirt, don’t blame them for calling it off!
4. Conversation-starters:
The pandemic, for one, can be an excellent way to begin your conversation. Be empathetic of their triggers, though; not everyone has had a sweet time holed up in homes. Comment on how they look can always break the ice. It also shows that you respect them for having shown up all dolled even when at home. In case they aren’t, appreciate them for being their candid selves. You can then ease into talking about their hobbies, passions or jobs and also share yours. The conversation trajectory is unique to each, but making each other comfortable should be paid emphasis too.
You could also have a pre-decided time bracket over which the call can stretch up too. Keep some mystery alive for the coming days too.
Zoom dates can become the de-facto in a post-pandemic world. It is easy to squeeze in a few hours from your meeting-tight schedule rather than honk your way to a remote café. You can decide if you want to make the next date ‘in-person’ or drop it there and part ways!