Do you over-share information, get over-involved with others’ problems and almost always regret it? Does a simple “How are you?” from an almost-stranger turn into an hour-long conversation about your strained past with a friend? This means you have porous boundaries and let us explain what this means.

We often hear people talk about establishing personal boundaries to aid their identity. While for some, it’s physical, for others, it’s emotional. It’s easy for people to get paranoid or add a negative connotation to set limitations but turns out, that isn’t always the case. 

Setting healthy boundaries is apparently a crucial aspect of mental health and well-being. Healthy boundaries can be pretty tricky to master, primarily if you’ve never been taught what they are. 

Personal boundaries are what we set for ourselves within our relationships. There are different kinds of personal boundaries, but the psychological ones are what we use most in relationships. They are essentially like an invisible line that either stops or encourages the possibility of personal harm to us. Not many people know that there are three distinct varieties; rigid, porous, and healthy. It’d be a smart choice to decide which category of personal boundaries you fall in and fix any errors you may notice. 

Here are the three types of boundaries, so you see what’s best to adapt–

Rigid boundaries 

A person who always keeps others at a distance (whether emotionally, physically, or otherwise) has rigid boundaries. They won’t allow anything to flow in or out, like having a blocked filter. 

Porous boundaries 

These are the kinds of people who tend to get too involved with others. People of this boundary type have a penetrable boundary. They allow themselves to be manipulated and can suffer the consequences of others. If you’ve ever let someone make you feel guilty, you may have a porous personal boundary.

Healthy boundaries 

These kinds of people value their own opinions the most. They resist compromising their values for others’ happiness and tend to learn how to share personal information in the most appropriate manner (no over or under sharing). And most importantly, they know how to accept when others say “no” to them. 

How to readjust your personal boundaries

Lucky for us, personal boundaries are flexible. The first and most essential step is to recognize which type of private border you have. 

Secondly, achieving a healthy PB (Personal boundary) is relative to how far from healthy it is. 

The third step to achieving a healthy balance is to define the boundaries you want to set clearly. This works with all un-healthy types. 

If it’s rigid, boundaries need to be relaxed. Finding out what can be disclosed and embraced is the secret. If porous, it is efficient to apply the limitations set for themselves to those around them. They recognize their personal boundaries; however, loved ones can slip beyond them.

Personal boundaries develop over time; therefore, the change will take place slowly. Identify opportunities that induce less distress and place boundaries; work through more uncomfortable conditions as time progresses. Practice, time, and cumulative exposure to improvement are the simplest, most successful way to maintain a healthier balance.