Have you ever been stressed about a significant move away from your loved one? It feels unnerving to walk out the door, knowing you’d be leaving them alone. What could be a fleeting feeling for most is the basis of separation anxiety disorder. We have all dealt with separation anxiety before understanding what the term meant. The majority of kids outgrow this anxiety before they turn three years old. But what we don’t realize is that separation anxiety is a common phenomenon amongst adults as well. 

What is Separation Anxiety Disorder?

According to Medical News Today, “Separation anxiety is when someone is afraid of being separated from a particular person, persons, or even a pet.” People with separation anxiety find it hard to be alone at most times. They often worry that something will happen to their loved one or pet if they stay away for too long. Like most anxiety disorders, when separation anxiety begins affecting someone’s daily life, there comes a need for medical intervention.

An article in The Washington Post quotes psychiatrist Jeanette Raymond, who says, “It’s more about wanting the world to stand still so that they don’t have to move ahead.” People with separation anxiety are likely to cling to the familiar when things change. The people around you know you better than anyone else; they understand you. Leaving this sheltered environment and moving into the real world can prove to be a very daunting experience. This is why it’s widespread for kids to experience it right before their schooling years or when they leave for college. 

Unhealthy parenting staples can sometimes amplify this feeling amongst children. “Separation anxiety, in most cases, arises when you haven’t had a secure functioning relationship with your caregiver,” says Mahananda Bohidar, a psychological counsellor. Separation anxiety is more likely to occur in children who haven’t been given the space to become more independent. Smothering and over-protecting children often leads to the development of unhealthy attachments.

However, Separation Anxiety doesn’t just affect children. According to US News, parents are just as likely to experience the anxiety of an empty next. The article says, “For many parents, this can be a time of excitement. Simultaneously, parents commonly experience a sense of loss. This loss may amplify the anxiety parents are also experiencing”. After years devoted to child care, parents feel lost without the presence of the children at home. This feeling is familiar for stay-at-home mothers that have spent enough time away from their kids.

When is it diagnosed?

It is essential to know just when to reach out for help. If you are unsure whether you or someone you love could be dealing with separation anxiety, here’s how you can tell. There are mental as well as physical reactions that one may have due to separation anxiety. According to medical news, the physical symptoms ranging from nausea, headaches, and sore throats. These are the most likely triggers of stress that aren’t always the easiest to pinpoint. 

Curated from research across various platforms, some common traits that you’ll also find in people with separation anxiety are:

• Unusual distress caused by leaving family/ friends/ pets
• Constantly worrying about someone hurting your loved one
• Fear of being alone
• Refusal to leave home
• Nightmares about separation
• Need to keep tabs on loved ones at all times.

Professional Intervention

To productively deal with separation anxiety, professional intervention may be necessary. Bohidar also says, “If your separation anxiety is getting in the way of your regular functioning life, the first step is going to therapy. But in many cases, you must first consider the reason behind this anxiety. It usually stems from fear. So you need to try and understand how much of this fear can you validate from the people in your life and how much of it can you work on yourself”.

Studies show that humans aren’t the only ones who deal with it. Our pets are just as likely to experience separation anxiety when we leave home after spending lots of time with them. Coping with separation anxiety as an adult can be difficult, but it is manageable with the right kind of support.