Our modern-day love story begins like all of them do. They met on a dating app, and sparks flew everywhere. They were liking the other’s Instagram pictures, constantly texting, calling and going on dreamy dates. It seemed too good to be true, and it was. Soon our fairytale took a turn for the worst. One of them stepped back and realized that they still had feelings for an ex. Just like that, it was over between them. Now, a relationship had to be mourne. But wait, does that even count as a relationship? Is this even a break-up?!
Well, it turns out it isn’t. If it wasn’t a relationship, it’s a Micro-breakup. Yes again, millennials have given a title to a ‘micro’ feeling that has probably always existed, but, barely spoken about. The umbrella definition of micro-breakup is the feeling when you or the person you’re dating, end a potential relationship before it truly begins.
You nip the hypothetical flower in the bud and are a tad bit sad that you’re never going to see them again. It’s unfortunate for sure, but it is also the natural order of things. Not every new relationship turns out to be long lasting. So, are we making mountains out of molehills, or is this a genuine, sad emotion that people are going through?
I explained the term to a bunch of my friends recently, and they could immediately relate. “When you spend a lot of time on dating apps, even what you’ve sifted through can turn out to be a stone”. While casual dating is usually fun and frivolous, sometimes you meet friendly people that are worth putting up with even after two or three dates. When you lose them, it can get you down for a bit simply because you got used to talking to someone always. Plus, now you have to go through the process all over again. “People don’t get how attached you can become in these things,” said a friend and it’s probably true.
“A lot of us have experienced this phenomenon and feel (slightly) for others going through it.
But, a lot of people also seem to think that phrases
like these show how we’re giving importance
to things that don’t need to be dwelled upon too much.”
A lot of people that we spoke to seemed to think that micro-breakups are a nicer way to put an end to premature relationships. The people who preach about communication being key are the also those who often ghost others- left, right and centre.
In this scenario, most people would instead question why something is ending (no matter how short-lived) rather than be left without an explanation. Micro-breakups are an honest way of cutting ties so that the girl/guy on the other end isn’t clinging on to some semblance of hope. Considering how much we all whine about being ghosted, confronting something that just doesn’t fit is better than hurting someone’s (micro) emotions.
A lot of us have experienced this phenomenon and feel (slightly) for others going through it. But, a lot of people also seem to think that phrases like these show how we’re giving importance to things that don’t need to be dwelled upon too much. “People are giving themselves a sense of entitlement by placing a title in an emotion that doesn’t need to be explored,” said a friend when I explained the concept to him.
“I was once seeing this guy, and it was going well. But, I was moving cities a month after I met him and didn’t see the point of pursuing it. We had a fun month, but at the end of it, I told him that I didn’t see it going anywhere. Sure, it bummed me out but, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been a couple of months down the line and I’m glad about that.”
This new term ‘micro-breakup’ is a bandwagon for millennials to jump on and talk about sob stories of what could have been. It’s an interesting take on a probable future with someone we didn’t know too well. While there are far more significant grievances for us to deal with every day, micro-break ups don’t bring much to the table but, are worth a glance. What hurts most isn’t limited to not talking to that one person again but also, the process of nitpicking through dating apps all over again.