Hunters, gatherers and the farmers, not a fun hierarchy, but what came after? The meal that came after all that hustle. The secret shindigs that took place in the cave while sharing one pineapple among your nearest and dearest. Flash forward to 2021, and not much has changed. The bashes remain livelier than ever except now, with fancy wine glasses. It is a way of inviting your closest to enjoy some time with you as they secretly admire your Monica Geller level hosting skills. Now it might seem like the stakes are high, and the pressure is real but guess what? It isn’t. At least we hope so.

So many of us love watching soirees with the perfect napkin figures and tiny, jelly desserts in big spoons, and like Monica says – ‘Rules help control the fun.’ But here’s the deal. These social calls are only fun when you’re the kind of person on the inside who enjoys soft jazz, which btw, a super classy move! 

Other than that, the hype around being a fancy host/hostess does not make any sense. Hosting guests and not being great at it *should?* be normalized, and placing the fork and spoon on the wrong sides of the plate should be normalized too. For so many people, good old comfort food, some great wine, and a stack of Uno cards is plenty to leave your house satisfied. It should be enough for you, too, because honestly, going overboard is a choice, and it shouldn’t be something that stops you from hosting your first ever Chinese food and beer party.  

But none of our motivational talks means that you should slack off and let everyone sit next to your laundry chair—quite the opposite. We’re no Kylie, and we don’t have a theme park, but we do have a list to help you ace this race. 

Rule 1: Skip the Negative Nancy’s

This is your party. Only invite people who bring joy, are joy or want to be joy and also maybe people with who you want to connect better. The key to every good party (not relationships) is a conversation, and if you have a group of well-rounded people, a large chunk of your work is sorted.

Rule 2: Keep the party à la ‘you’

As we discussed, this is one of the essential parts. Choose a theme/setting that you’d enjoy and are comfortable with. That way, your work will become so much easier. This could be your chance to dress up in red carpet glam or maybe, chill in your pyjamas. Either way, none of your friends are going to care as long as you’re cheery.

Rule 3: Procrastinate

This might seem like the last thing you’d want to do, but a tiny amount will help you. The key is not to get burdened with unnecessary planning. Make things easier for yourself so you don’t get sick of hosting. When cleaning up, focus on the parts of the house people will interact with. When it comes to food, the order in or if you plan on cooking yourself, make limited items with significant impacts. Potlucks are also a great option. And when sending invites? Use email. 

Rule 4: Let there be light. And music.

An essential aspect of any gathering. Make accommodations for your space to be well-lit (unless that’s the theme). Garden parties are also a great option. And always remember to choose music that creates an upbeat atmosphere or one that serenades as a conversation starter. This will help drown out any of those super awkward mid-meal silences.

Rule 5: Work hard and then slack off

A two-part suggestion. Firstly, do just one thing well, like the food or a crazy dress code and watch it speak for itself instead of managing a hundred different details. Secondly, once your guests arrive, stop running around. There is no point in mentioning the things you would do better/change or showing them that you’re stressed. You did good, kid.

Rule 6: Keep alcohol at hand

Another unorthodox suggestion but equally brilliant. If you’re already serving it at the party, well and good, but god forbid, if at any point your party does go numb, nothing will get the conversation flowing like some liquid courage. Double it up at your own risk but be responsible.

Rule 6: Go with the flow

While planning fun activities and the night’s itinerary is a great way to help your party stand out, don’t constantly steer to your list if things are smooth sailing in a different direction. Pictionary is fun, but gossiping about your co-workers could be more. You don’t want to be restricting your guests.

Lastly, don’t forget –’Great things always come from comfort zones.’ 

I think I might be getting this whole quotes thing wrong…