All 2021 has to do is not be 2020. It can be the bare minimum, and we will worship it. We want to hit backspace on 2020, but then it admittedly brought us closer to ourselves. Closed walls made us think.
We all have our post-pandemic bucket lists handy. But with this new-found profoundness, we made you a – things not to do in the 2021 list.
While the new year behaves, let’s do our job:
Do Not ACCEPT LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE
If we encashed all the “benefits of doubt” we gave people, we’d be millionaires by now. Rationalizing poor behaviour is settling for less than you deserve. Sure, people have their bad days and may lash out at you; but you shouldn’t be their emotional vomit bag. Being a *yes man* never helps. It makes you settle for a falafel when you want a full-blown pizza.
Dr Jill Weber, a practising psychologist and author of Breaking Up and Divorce, says, “Get in touch with what you want, big and small. Talk about it with friends, family, and acquaintances. Say it out loud. Put the universe on notice so support can come back to you.” Lack of courage anchors more people than lack of ability. Try not to be your anchor in 2021.
Do Not RUN ON THE VALIDATION FUEL
Thirty likes and seven comments – day is made. A lower score, and you’re questioning everything from your hairstyle to wit. The hunger for approval can limit you. Choosing a career because parents will thump their chest in pride doesn’t add up in the long run. Let’s break this cycle in 2021.
Let this be the year where someone else’s words do not run your moods. It’s human to seek validation but foolish to exist because of it. We go out looking for two good words because we are not saying them to ourselves. Don’t know how to affirm yourself? Plug into this Spotify playlist and thank us later.
Do Not SHOP ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN TO YOUR MOTHER
We had no brunch to be at and no concerts to groove to. So we carted cleaning kits and bed linens and toothbrush covers and everything useless under the Amazon sun.
How about you make 2021 a happy year for your bank balance too? There are great ways to pull the brakes on, not shopping stupid, but nothing beats bringing to mind your mother’s sarcasm if she knows you are repurchasing a black tee.
You see it, like it, want it… don’t buy it immediately. Let it vegetate in your cart and visit it later. Still, seems useful? You’re the best judge.
Do Not BE BUSY ALL THE TIME
2021 can be your vaccine for the hustle flu. Stretching yourself too thin to do more and do everything doesn’t do a number on your productivity. It just exhausts you because no accomplishment is enough.
Gustavo Razetti, a change leadership consultant and speaker, breaks it down “When you are busy, you don’t have time to think, reflect, or enjoy. You are running from one task to another without being present. Your mind needs space.” The secret of being an alpha in a pack of averages is choosing what to do — and doing it right — instead of doing more and more.
Do Not MINDLESSLY SCROLL
The line between scrolling and mindless scrolling is thin, and we are always on the wrong side. The meme game is stronger by the hour; the algorithm charms you with its spot-on ads, you fall down the rabbit hole because your ex’s ex-relationship status has changed and before you know – you lose a good number of hours to aesthetic pages and false-lives of Instagram.
We’ve all been back and forth on this, took the life-altering decision of a detox, but it hasn’t worked out. It could be because we are setting unrealistic goals. Start slow – turn off notifications first. Normalize not sleeping next to your phone. Turn on grayscale and live in the real colours instead. Zuckerberg doesn’t deserve all your time.
Do Not COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE
Benchmate from school made it to an ivy league college, and you can’t calculate your grocery bills right. Just one of the gazillion reasons you can choose to feel small about yourself.
If you’ve lived a life of pitching yourself against people, 2021 could be the year you cut out this toxicity. If you are in the habit of comparing yourself with people better than you – insufficiency will eat into your confidence. On the contrary, if you love boosting your ego by drawing parallels between you and someone not in your league – here’s the needle, break your bubble.
Be Monica and outdo the last year you, instead.